“And Now For Something Completely Different…….!”
As an avid fan of the blog “Evil Squirrel’s Nest”, I have participated in their annual “Contest Of Whatever” competition…….every year it’s something different. This is the 5th year of the challenge, and we were given three random photos and asked to use them as “references” for some type of creation – a story, drawing, WHATEVER and submit it. The rules for this wacky competition are HERE. Well I love a good challenge but honestly, I had a terrible time (which you will see from the silliness I created for my entry) coming up with something even CLOSE to the other entries I’ve read. Mine PALES in comparison………..BUT I did incorporate elements of the three photos into my hodge-podge of ridiculousness.
So here is my nonsense along with the photos we had to use……………this was a toughie Bill !!
“Sometimes Fantasy Isn’t Such A Good Thing”
So I was bumbling along in my rather boring little life – having just been fired from my job as the “green guy” from THE MARIO PEOPLE singing group when I realized that I definitely was on the downhill side into oblivion – the place my friends and family always thought I’d wind up.
When I got the job with the up and coming singing group THE MARIO PEOPLE, everyone was still on the high of THE VILLAGE PEOPLE’s breakout singing career – and we hopped on the tide of non-conventional music and turned the MARIOS into another band with a statement to make. I thought I had it made. This was the proverbial “IT” that everyone meant when they said “THIS IS IT” ! I was – as usual – wrong. The “different Disco group” type thing came and went and traditional Disco exploded. “Traditional” we were NOT. THE VILLAGE PEOPLE faded into the background while spinning disco balls glowed brighter than ever, and the MARIOS followed suit. The groups were history, and truth be told, I was growing weary of that stupid suit with the big orange shoes and honking big GREEN nose. I wanted fresh air – freedom – a break from MARIODOM and it came like a bolt of thunder when they dumped me. Yep fired me – said they could tell from my lackluster performance that my heart just wasn’t in it any longer (and besides, the suit no longer fit me).
SO I decided to change my life entirely. I eventually hooked up with a guy I met online…..he said he had always been a fan of the “green guy” in THE MARIO PEOPLE band……it was nice to know SOMEONE had actually noticed me – I mean how could you miss that nose anyway? We married, had a little girl, and she and my guy made my life complete……for the time being. But I still felt like the call of “something different” was whispering in my ear once in a while. Doing laundry and fixing hubby’s lunch and sending little Marioella off to school was leaving me empty. My brief celeb (I think it lasted about a week on the nightclub circuit) status with the MARIOs let me see that there was more to life than laundry and dried up egg yolk on the breakfast plates. What to do?
Another former MARIO and I had stayed in touch through the years…….she was also looking for love in all the wrong places – she’d actually worked in a Mario’s Pizza joint for a while hoping to meet Mr. Right which of course did NOT happen. She told me that she had read about this cool camp way out in the middle of nowhere; a place for lost souls, people with no defined “course” in life, people who wanted a DRASTIC change…..a place where you could go and live out your dreams and fantasies – even if it was just for a weekend.
This was just too good to be true……..I could leave Marioella with my husband, pack a bag, head for this camp and just throw caution to the wind and get CRAZY.
My husband encouraged me to go for it – he said it would be good for me – make me realize that I needed to be happy with the things I had NOW. So I hopped on a plane……..took a taxi out into the boonies to the camp. The sign at the entrance said “FANTASYLAND” and while there was no Mickey Mouse signage and no little midget guy waving me through the gate like it was a Fantasy Island wannabe, I knew I was about to see “fantasy in action!”. I passed some people dressed as unicorns and a couple of girls wearing tiaras and waving sticks with stars stuck on the end they were waving in the and and leaving fairy dust flying through the breeze. They were obviously living their dreams!
As I was walking to my assigned cabin, I passed a familiar face. There in a big old fashioned tub in the wide open space and fresh air of freedom was someone I totally recognized. The famous “Mister T” from TV – his Mohawk with shampoo bubbles shining in the sun, and his multiple gold chains sparkling like they were actually REAL gold (haha)………..he had a huge smile on his face……..behind him in the tub was a truly LARGE pig creature with amazing tusks. They both had ecstatic smiles on their faces. Looked like the perfect picture of human and porcine ecstasy if ever there was one. I kind of had an idea of what sort of fantasy was about to happen and it wasn’t going to be something I needed to see. As I walked away the distinct sound of a squealing pig could be heard echoing through the treetops……….I kept moving towards my cabin – QUICKLY.
I mean there’s some fantasies that you don’t want to HEAR – know what I mean? My fantasy was going to be different. I had decided that I just wanted to be away from Mr. Boring Hubby and Miss Perfect Child for two days of SOLID SLEEP – and maybe a few dreams of that big green nose and what COULD have been have been if I’d just stuck with show biz. If John Travola could rock bell bottoms and disco, I could have too. Talk about fantasies!
THE ABSOLUTE END……………
With apologies to the REAL writers out there……………..Pam Kimmell
TWO Spoiled Cats 