SPARK on Monday

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Just a reminder what “SPARK” is all about.    Mondays are the start of a new week and why not start that week with a thought or message or reminder of the fact that Mondays set the tone for the week ahead – why not make it powerful.     That was the idea that Annie McGuffy of McGuffy’s Reader had when she began the SPARK posts a few years ago – before her blog was hacked and she stopped posting. We hope she will be back soon – we miss her but in her honor many of us have been carrying the SPARKS torch on Mondays.   Just something to make us stop and think – prepare us for facing a new day.

Having said that, I have to say that my SPARK for today is more personal this week.    Yesterday we attended the Celebration of Life service for my husband’s twin brother who passed away this past March.    Because of the times and the virus there was no formal funeral – no chance for family and friends to get together to support each other.     Only now are some get-togethers being accomplished in some states, but with precautions taken.    Yesterday, was the day.    It’s been a rough ride since March.   Twins truly do have a rather magical bond.   That’s something I’d never seen before in my life.   I have siblings but we’re not twins.     My husband and his brother had the kind of relationship where they finished each other’s sentences.   They had a lot in common but still had a lot of differences.    It made for a wonderful relationship and I was happy to be around for 30+ years of that time.    David’s brother was seriously ill for the last month or so and in an ICU with terminal lung cancer and we couldn’t visit – but with help from Hospice he came home near the end and we were able to be with him at the end.     These intervening months have been so hard on my husband.    But I wanted to find something – some quote or some THING that would come even somewhat close to the feeling – the bond – the closeness that they had always.    I’ve told my husband even death doesn’t take that away but his heart is too hurt to feel that yet.    I am sure in time he will feel it though – he’s trying.

This is the image that speaks to me………………

Yes this is a more personal SPARK than some I’ve done but I feel the heaviness in my own heart lifting…………the final goodbye has been said and while the little boat now has just one occupant I will be the wind beneath his sails to the best of my ability.   Because that’s what we do when we love someone.

Have a great week!   Hugs, Pam

60 responses »

  1. Sweet image and words for David to take comfort in. I’m sure David’s heart will begin to heal with your support. Working through grief made much more difficult by the protocols of the virus. There is someone else in that boat and he knows you are there for him in every way possible. Sending thoughts of comfort and strength to help you both make your way through this very hard time.

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    • Thank you my TRULY sweet friend………we’ve all had loss in our lives and we know because we’ve done it before that we eventually get to a place of PEACE within that loss. We are finally getting there after yesterday.

      Love you, Pam (The Boop says hi too!)

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  2. Oh, Pam. I am teary-eyed. That is just the sweetest image of those two little ones in that boat….the quote is perfect, too. But your last two sentences in this post really touched my heart. Thoughts and prayers continue for you and Dave.

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    • Thanks Dianna……..I love that image and I know it wasn’t the “usual” SPARK among all the SPARKS posted today but it had to be said…….my heart was full of the need to say it and now I feel like we can try to really move on.

      Hugs, Pam

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  3. Pam, so beautifully written and from the heart. Peace to you, your husband, and the family. March was the time when everything was breaking and unknown. At least the Celebration of Life brought some long-delayed closure. Peace to you, your husband, family, and friends.

    PS: Teddy – thanks for letting Mom write today.

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    • Thank you Frank. The SPARKS posts on Monday will always be my thoughts – Teddy isn’t allowed to intrude on that – otherwise he’d be SPARKING about treats, catching chipmunks, going outside – the typical “Ted stuff” !!! It was a super hard day yesterday for my husband. His twin brother was his “lifeline” to the past. The last of his family. They were closer than close. Loss is always tough but I think the emotionally fragile have more to overcome to move on. Anyway, today is a NEW and BRIGHTER day………hope you have a good one too!!! Tomorrow is TEASER CLASS – post pops up at a surprise time because part of the fun is being the FIRST to comment on the post. Teddy is in charge tomorrow!

      Hugs, Pam

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You wishing to be the wind beneath David’s wings is the unchanging love a wife has for her husband. The wish to heal, to make a path and to go beyond the expected.
    Love to you both.

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  5. Hugs to you and your hubby. 27 this morning. 53 today. They switched my hours to late afternoon. Hate these hours and it messes with Cashew getting his insulin. Have a great day.

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  6. Poignant & beautiful SPARK Pam!! I have had a few ‘twin-friends’ & they were always close. And when 1 twin passes over to the Spirit World the other twin feels it so deeply….
    I send ((hugs)) to Hubby. May he find peace & acceptance soon.
    ❤ Sherri-Ellen & **purrss** BellaDharma

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  7. Pam, it was a perfect spark under the circumstances. So sorry about your husband’s brother. Will lift you all up in my prayers.

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  8. That is such a heartwarming SPARK. We send our sympathy and hugs to your husband. Closure is hard to come by these days. We hope he will be comforted by the memories of their life together. Our twins (the grands) are so very closely bonded, even though they are boy and girl. It is amazing to watch the devotion they have for each other.

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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    • The “twin thing” is to me a most amazing thing – literally from the first second until the end. It was extra hard having to wait so many months to be able to really say and do all the things the family wanted and needed to do. Now perhaps everyone can begin really “dealing” with it.

      Hugs, Pam

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  9. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband’s brother, Pam, and the difficulties of saying goodbye under this year’s sad circumstances. This was a moving tribute to him and the close family bonds. Many hopes for peace and comfort, always.

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    • That’s right – I think one of the things David will miss the most is talking to his brother about “the good old days” and memories they shared. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!

      Love, Pam

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  10. Awww, there are rivers flowing from my eyes while I read that, and now its harder than ever to pen a reply. I think there are still 2 occupants in that boat of life, only now one is an angel:)

    I had heard of your brother in law’s passing,and that he was one of twins, but I had NO idea of the other details and the huge hurt and hole that made.

    I send comforting thoughts and may The Lord surround you both with His everlasting arms, to give you much comfort and peace at this most difficult time.

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    • Ingrid thank you from the bottom of my heart……you’re right of course – there are still two in that little boat – I told David that he will FOREVER feel Bruce with him. Always.

      BIG HUGS TO YOU TOO………
      Love, Pam

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  11. Oh, Pam, what a lovely image of the siblings in the boat. And yes, Some would rather jump overboard than stay….but I loved my brother and was so very sad to see him slip away to dementia. Please hug your wonderful twin often, if that’s what works. Or, just let him be to work out his emotions. It took a year for me when my mother died and then she came in a dream and there was a telephone booth with a ringing phone and I ran over to the booth to answer it and my mother was on the line, saying, It’s time to say goodbye. Well…..the grief was ended, but not the sadness. Still, she told me when to move on….a good mama.

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    • My husband is feeling better today – Sunday was very difficult of course for him – there was a picture board his brother’s wife had set up that had lots of photos of my husband and his twin brother as little kids and growing up together – it was fun to see all those old photos. The hardest part I think for him was that his twin brother had actually died in March and we had to wait until this Sunday to have a service for him because of Covid. Each day will get better I’m sure. Thanks for your thoughts and also for sharing the story of your brother AND your mother. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Love, Pam

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      • Pam, such a beautiful, thoughtful and perfect Spark. It is often difficult to share such personal thoughts and experiences, but even if we are not a twin, we all (at our age) have lost those who we love deeply. Thank you. Sending prayers too David and you. Love, Janet 💓💖🥰

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        • Thanks Janet……..it’s always hard losing anyone we love but it was the first time I really truly realized the “twin bond” is one amazing connection. With this virus and with our aging we will of course experience more losses than ever before but friends and family get us through and on and on we go (or hope to!).

          Hugs, Pam

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