Miss Dingleberry – the class is all yours (but we’re watching from the back of the room!)
Hello Students…..Your beloved Miss D here and it’s time for us to
check out YOUR entries in the “CREATE A RECIPE FROM THIS GROSS PHOTO” contest!
First of all, thank you to ALL of you who entered. We know it was a big fat disappointment when we cancelled Teaser this week but the Profs needed a day off because of their Mom and Dad being out of town so I was the lucky duck (or cook) who got to run my OWN contest. It was a challenge right? Not so easy to create a recipe from a rather GROSS looking photo of an unknown food item. BUT, you were game. Eight of you fabulous students of the School entered.
Tee Hee….this oughta be good!
We will share the recipes from those who entered FIRST – and assign them a NUMBER. The Voting Poll will follow the recipes and just vote for your FAVORITE recipe – it can be that you choose it because it sounds the most delicious, most interesting, most disgusting, most impossible to eat, most – well – you get the idea. You choose your FAVORITE no matter why. THEN, tomorrow we will announce the WINNER. The WINNER will be getting a special badge from our Professors……….
ENTRY #1 – Clowie’s “Bombe Surprise”
This is a suprisingly simple recipe.
1 generous scoop of pond scum
1 portion of cat puke
1 ball of dung
Part-eaten and discarded takeaway
Gather together your ingredients. For the dung ball you need to find a friendly dung beetle and persuade him to part with the ball of dung. He may be tempted to exchange it for some fresh dung!
Put the pond scum into a dish. If you have any of the optional extras, push those into the scum around the edge.
Place the portion of cat puke in the centre of the pond scum.
Gently push the dung ball into the cat puke.
Voila! You have made bombe surprise. Bon apetit!
ENTRY #2 – Kismet’s “Potato De Foul Grass”
1) Go outside and cut the grass (or in our case AstroTurf-the dish will taste the same).
2) Put the grass cuttings in a blender and add an equal amount of pond scum. Blend for four hours. Do step 3 concurrently.
3) In the middle of the plate put that thing that’s been in the back of your refrigerator for the last six months after nuking it in the microwave for four hours remove all signs of decay.
4) Put on a serving plate. Garnish it with a raw purple potato on one side of the plate.
5) Serve with pride to your in-laws! Don’t waste gourmet food like this on Miss Dingleberry.
Would I eat it? I’m a bird and stick to sunflower seeds.
ENTRY #3 – Madi’s “Mock Congealed Eye of Newt Aspic”
ENTRY #4 – Sage’s Fav Classic Military Canteen Meal: Chicken with Sorrel Sauce and Chocolate Pudding! (each individual item on the plate has a recipe!)
Ingredient No. 1: Chocolate pudding
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup baking cocoa
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 4 cups milk
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
In a heavy saucepan, combine sugar, cocoa, cornstarch and salt. Let the cat drink half of the milk. Gradually add remaining milk. Bring to a boil over medium heat; boil and stir for 2 minutes, but be unsatisfied with the consistency and boil for further 5 minutes still it’s really hard. Remove from the heat; stir in butter and vanilla (if you can). Spoon into individual serving dishes, preferably with an axe. Chill until serving.
Ingredient No. 2: SORREL SAUCE
- 2-3 cup VERY heavy cream (originally, it’s 2/3 but misread it)
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1/4 pound sorrel leaves, stems removed
- 2 tablespoons vermouth, or chicken or vegetable stock
- Salt and white pepper to taste
- Chiffonade the sorrel by curling up a few leaves at a time and slicing them very thin. But become bored and slice them thick.
- Pour the cream in a small pot but do not bring it to a simmer, because doing this would prevent it from curdling when it hits all that acidic sorrel in a few minutes.
- Meanwhile, in another small to medium pot, heat the butter over medium heat and add the sorrel. Cook the sorrel but forget to stir, until it melts – it will cook down a lot and turn Army green. Muse on till it is Castleton green. When it does, stir in the cream and bring the sauce to a bare simmer. It will be pretty thick, so you should to add the vermouth or stock to thin it out. But you have no stock, and you prefer drinking the vermouth. Add salt and white pepper to taste and serve.
Ingredient No. 3: A drumstick
Take a drumstick from the fridge and toss it in the middle of the sorrel sauce.
ENTRY#5 – Ellen’s Carb-Free Lasagna
ENTRY #6 – Janet’s “Asparagus Soup with Chicken, Sausage and Chocolate Pudding”
This is the “Ultimate One-Dish Meal” (contains protein, veggies AND dessert all on one plate!)
One package chocolate pudding (prepared per package instructions)
One can asparagus spears
One large chicken breast
One packaged sausage (any variety)
Four cups chicken stock
One-quarter cup sesame seeds
Make chocolate pudding following package instructions. Place in freezer.Cook chicken using any conventional method, except fried. Allow to cool.Pull apart with fork and fingers to make chucks and set aside. In blender or food processor, puree asparagus. Toast sesame seeds in oven just until tan…watch closely so not to burn them. Slice sausage into one-inch pieces and brown in large skillet. Add asparagus puree, chicken stock, sesame seeds and salt and pepper to taste. Cover and cook over medium heat for 30 minutes. Add chicken and continue to cook uncovered until chicken is heated through. While your soup is cooking, take partially frozen pudding from freezer and shape into large balls. Return to freezer. When all items in soup are heated through, spoon into bowls, top with pudding ball and serve. VOILA – THE ULTIMATE MEAL!
ENTRY#7 – Bill Brown’s “Possum a la Snuggle”
ENTRY #8 – Da Phenny’s “Mr. Burns Nuclear Mushroom”
The crowd approves of the recipes!
Maybe the crowd did but I think I need to use the restroom……..
I think I’d better head to the Ding Dong School bathrooms – I’m gonna be busy today!
Well done Ding Dongers! You came up with some REAL GEMS here and I think this is gonna be a CLOSE contest! Now remember, vote for your favorite recipe and tomorrow we will announce the one that gets the MOST VOTES.
I know which one I’m gonna vote for but now I’m afraid Miss D will make me EAT IT!!!!
Vote For Only One Recipe –
voting closes midnight (EST) TONIGHT!
A BIG TOAST TO ALL OF YOU WHO ENTERED! We can’t wait to see the winner tomorrow but ALL of you are winners – we think you all did an amazing job with the ICKY FOOD RECIPE CHALLENGE………….
Remember, you only get one vote……so vote for your favorite. See you in class tomorrow!
THANK YOU Miss Dingleberry for being such a good Substitute Teacher while the Professors were gone.
Students, ice cream available in the playground as a special treat today………….